Gender Defined Roles
I grew up in a very traditional home where gender roles were taught and practiced. There was Daddy and Mommy, a baby brother and myself as the big sister. I always considered it most fortunate that there were two adults and two children. There were also two males and two females. Chores were assigned by gender. My chores were connected to tending to the house. They were washing dishes and helping with laundry and dusting and vacuuming. My brothers’ chores were ones around the house like taking out the trash or mowing the lawn or shoveling snow. There was never a question on who did a chore. One only had to determine whether it was the kind of work a guy did or a girl did.
As I matured these boundaries continued and were adopted and taught. When I married my husband, we blended families. Each of us brought two children. He brought two sons and I brought a son and a daughter. This provided four men and two women to split the chores. I never had to mow a lawn, shovel snow, or pick up a tool. It was perfect. I always had a man around the house.
Very Empty Nest
When we purchased our first rental, we formed a real estate rental business. Our first rental house needed some work before we could rent it out. The timing for this purchase was not what I would call ideal. My husband was working in a different state, thousands of miles from home. The children had grown and were faced with demands of work, babies, and school. We were strapped financially. It would cost an incredible amount of money to fix the place up and we had nothing left to spend. I grabbed a screwdriver, a manual screwdriver, and decided to get the job done.
In Over My Head
I was in way over my head, but I saw no other option. Repairs needed to be made. It took me two months of being outside my comfort zone, two months of a very steep learning curve, two months of trial and error, of putting one foot in front of the other and making baby steps to get the job done. I would crawl and tip toe to a finish line only to trip and fall (not literally, but in progress space) and I felt like an infant, growing into a toddler just learning to walk. I wanted to walk. I wanted to run, but I had to take little steps to gain my balance along the way. Each effort made me more confident. I could have given up, and I sure did want to at times, but I didn’t see any other option. I often prayed and there were tears of frustration, but the job did get done and the house did become a rental.
We now own ten units in five buildings as rentals. Two years after we purchased our first rental, we purchased an older home for ourselves. We hired contractors to do huge renovations on the home. In order to be onsite yet not underfoot, I kept myself busy with projects in the backyard. I rebuilt the fence and built a two-story playhouse in the backyard. These projects were outside of my comfort zone, yet I had learned much and had begun to realize that the jobs were doable. Somehow along the way I had become something much different than I ever thought possible. At 53 years old I was a handy woman, and a grandmother, mother, and a wife.
The Screwdriver of Faith
These baby steps of breaking into an unknown world are like faith. They were so scary at first. I was confused and disoriented, yet I began to become amazed with what was possible. I jumped in with no other option (in my mind) than to proceed. I built muscle both physically and emotionally in understanding that the impossible was possible.
When we turn over our fears and begin to trust in God it is similar. We must take those baby steps. We learn, over time, to depend on Him. We may fall and crawl, but we can’t give up. We trust again and again until we get to a point of not considering our fear and just accept.
Upcoming Possibilities
Right now, I have a huge pile of old and weather-beaten fence planks where a garden used to be years ago. In a very rugged way, the wood is beautiful. I’ve been asked by many people what I am going to do with all that wood. I smile and tell them that I have dreams of upcoming plans. I own pink power tools that are just aching to make beautiful projects with that wood. Who would have ever thought that it could come to this?
Faith Building
How has God turned your struggles into faith building exercises? What are your upcoming possibilities?
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